All This Space in My Head

The kids are gone with my parents in the mountains for several days, and Dave and I took some days off work to spend some time together, just the two of us, while they are gone. As with all parents, we love our kids immensely – and we need breaks from each other, too. It’s refreshing to get to a state where I’m primarily concerned about myself and my husband for a while.

Once I’ve caught up on sleep and reading, I find my mind bounces back quickly to what I’ll call its “natural” state.  Normally, my mind is busy with the mechanics of Dave and I taking care of the kids, the house and everyone’s daily schedules; making my patient schedule for the day, talking with patients’ families, etc.  Working part-time, homeschooling part-time, and sharing the care of the kids and the house keeps us both hopping. The summer is a little calmer, but still busy. Consequently, there’s not a lot of space for Dave and I to be engaging in philosophical, theoretical conversations with each other on a day-to-day basis.  We’re usually engaging in these conversations with our kids.

Once the more mechanical parts of life slip away for a while, the space in my head feels huge by comparison. I find it, then, an amazing luxury to explore my mental space. To let my mind wander onto different topics, read about random things, and discuss theories with Dave in depth and detail. Just for fun. While everyone has the reasons they like time away from their kids, being able to lay in bed snuggling with Dave and exploring and discussing different ideas is one of my favorites.

One of the great parts about sharing things equally is that we’re usually in the same mental space at the same time. It makes for so much less friction in a marriage when you’re not having to remember that your spouse had a totally different day than you. Although my actual day might look vastly different, he and I have similar stresses on our day – where to fit in the work with the kids, getting the kids/clients/patients what they need, keeping up with the house and the laundry, getting exercise, etc. Things get even more complex with highly gifted, intense kids.

This morning, I take a deep breath and enjoy the quiet in the house, my amazing husband, and the wonderful space in my head. In a few days, I’ll be ready to reconnect with the kids and hear all about their adventures.  I’ll have plenty of space then.

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